Monday, May 21, 2012

Single Parenting.. but not Alone

I know that I am not the only girl in the world a single mother. There are many I meet everday.. and many are single parents for all sorts of reasons. I have found that it is not a weakness. nor does it define me. Yes, it is a huge part of my life as everyday I wake up and face the job of raising my sweet Grace. There is not a moment in my day that her well being and happiness isn't in the front of my mind. Being a single parent was brand new in my world.. coming from a family of  8 and parents that have been married for 40+ yrs.. that was all I knew. I have learned alot in these 3 1/2 yrs and still have alot to learn :)... From this though, I have grown closer relationships with my siblings and parents. For once in my life I could not hide.. I had reality right out in front of me. Something I honestly couldn't be more grateful for.

                                                          (Me -  8 months pregnant)

From what I have learned.. I can simply say this.. To every parent out there who's child has or will come to them and inform them that they are are pregnant and unmarried.. I beg you to find grace and kindness in your heart for them. I am in no way saying to tell them what they did was ok, because it isn't. A child is meant to be born out of love and marriage. I believe with all of my heart that is how God designed it. But trust me when I say, your child will learn that through alot of pain and hurt, whether you see it or not. Shame and condemnation will in no way help. My parents offered me an example of God's love for me, when they loved me through it. This does not mean that they didn't show their hurt and anger.. this does not mean that they babied me.. this simply means they loved me unconditionally and told me truthfully that I had a hard road ahead of me. My parents have been my rock.. my support.. my shoulder to cry on when my heart was breaking.. they sheltered me and gave me a stable place to get back on my feet.

Not only my parents but my brothers and sisters.. I can't begin to tell you the times they have spoiled Grace.. that they sent diapers when money was tight for me.. They showed up at her birthdays when she didn't have any other family coming.. even down to this past mother's day when together with an incredible guy, Michael all went in on getting me a car for mother's day so that I had no car payment and could have some independence and not have to always share with my parents. It is kindness I didn't deserve.. and a reminder of God's love for me.. See, that is what brings me to the not alone part..

To anyone that were to ever read this and facing single parenting I would say this.. I wish I could tell you it will be easy and painless.. but I would be lieing.. My dreams were broken over and over. I unfortunantly tried everyway I knew to act kindly to my child's father.. but there was no happy ending.. He chose himself over our sweet child. That was painful.. no parent wants that for their child or wants to explain it.. but I can say I have learned that my child has the best father any child can ask for.. My Heavenly Father.. He has never left us.. He has never abandoned us.. He has never broken a promise.. He has kept up safe.. He has provided for us.. He has loved us with a greater love then any man could. I promise you there is no greater joy in life then the love of a child.. There will be days of laughter and joy.. the child will be a healing balm to your soul.. the best day of my life thus far was the day I had Grace.. Don't doubt that you can be a parent.. because you can.. You will never be alone if you walk with Jesus.. I can promise you 100%.. He will be everything that you need.. and never let you down.
                                           Grace and I - Mother's Day 2012

    I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday - Eleanor Roosevelt

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